Welcome back everyone!
Thanks for sticking with me.
Today, I've decided to write about something that's still very new to me so I'm still learning new information, however, writing is how I handle/cope/process things, plus I'm able to keep all of you updated on what's new with me!
I think we can all agree, that the year 2020 can go straight to Hell.
Thanks for sticking with me.
Today, I've decided to write about something that's still very new to me so I'm still learning new information, however, writing is how I handle/cope/process things, plus I'm able to keep all of you updated on what's new with me!
I think we can all agree, that the year 2020 can go straight to Hell.
I know for myself personally, this year specifically has been a drag.
I will dive into that more another time however, this year can kiss my ass personally because not only did it decide to throw a pandemic into our lives, it decided to give me cancer.
Yes.
The big C word.
Cancer.
I recently was diagnosed with something called: Hurthel cell thyroid cancer.
So yea, 2020 can go fuck itself.
I will dive into that more another time however, this year can kiss my ass personally because not only did it decide to throw a pandemic into our lives, it decided to give me cancer.
Yes.
The big C word.
Cancer.
I recently was diagnosed with something called: Hurthel cell thyroid cancer.
So yea, 2020 can go fuck itself.
(I'm not apologizing for my language)
---
My health hasn’t always been great. If you know me, and know me well, I get sick a lot, if there’s a cold going around, I’ll get it eventually (Murphy’s Law)
Over the past year and a half, maybe a little longer, I’ve noticed my neck seeming “bulky” or bigger/wider than normal. Friends started pointing it out, then family, and one day I started feeling around my neck and felt lumps on both sides, in the front, as well as in the back. Not only was I experiencing lumps in my neck, I was having pain swallowing, hoarseness in my voice, I had a persistent cough that would not go away for MONTHS, and to those of you who still spent time with me during that cough,
I APPLAUD YOU
because trust me, I know, it was the most annoying thing in the world.
No matter what I did...cough drops, tea, medicine, diffusing oils...nothing worked.
I also started getting extra moody, I wasn't feeling like myself. I was tired ALL THE TIME.
(I still am)
Moving on.
I had a doctors appointment to discuss something that didn't have anything to do with my neck, but before I left, I asked my doctor to look at my neck and see if anything looked strange to her.
Lo and behold...she agreed that not only did my neck "look weird" but it did feel different and she also felt lumps while feeling around my neck.
So my doctor scheduled an ultrasound, which I had done a few months ago, which had results that led to my doctor wanting to move forward with a biopsy.
Last week, on June 9th, I had a biopsy procedure done on my neck.
I had both sides tested due to having masses/nodules on my thyroids; one of them has grown significantly since my last ultrasound. My day started with getting tested for covid (don’t worry I tested negative, however I 10/10 would not recommend getting your brain scrubbed with that swab, it was not a good time) then unfortunately my day ended with tears (lots of them), blood, swelling and bruising.
This biopsy was the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life; being awake while having gauged-needles shoved into your neck over and over again for over an hour to make sure they get the right sample or the exact amount that they need to test, sucked. I could not speak, eat, or swallow without feeling miserable.
Over the past year and a half, maybe a little longer, I’ve noticed my neck seeming “bulky” or bigger/wider than normal. Friends started pointing it out, then family, and one day I started feeling around my neck and felt lumps on both sides, in the front, as well as in the back. Not only was I experiencing lumps in my neck, I was having pain swallowing, hoarseness in my voice, I had a persistent cough that would not go away for MONTHS, and to those of you who still spent time with me during that cough,
I APPLAUD YOU
because trust me, I know, it was the most annoying thing in the world.
No matter what I did...cough drops, tea, medicine, diffusing oils...nothing worked.
I also started getting extra moody, I wasn't feeling like myself. I was tired ALL THE TIME.
(I still am)
Moving on.
I had a doctors appointment to discuss something that didn't have anything to do with my neck, but before I left, I asked my doctor to look at my neck and see if anything looked strange to her.
Lo and behold...she agreed that not only did my neck "look weird" but it did feel different and she also felt lumps while feeling around my neck.
So my doctor scheduled an ultrasound, which I had done a few months ago, which had results that led to my doctor wanting to move forward with a biopsy.
Last week, on June 9th, I had a biopsy procedure done on my neck.
I had both sides tested due to having masses/nodules on my thyroids; one of them has grown significantly since my last ultrasound. My day started with getting tested for covid (don’t worry I tested negative, however I 10/10 would not recommend getting your brain scrubbed with that swab, it was not a good time) then unfortunately my day ended with tears (lots of them), blood, swelling and bruising.
This biopsy was the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life; being awake while having gauged-needles shoved into your neck over and over again for over an hour to make sure they get the right sample or the exact amount that they need to test, sucked. I could not speak, eat, or swallow without feeling miserable.
---
Three days later, on June 12th, I got my results back.
Way faster than I thought I was going to.
Way faster than I thought I was going to.
I’m happy to report that the nodules on the right side of my neck were benign, however, the left side was not. In fact, it came back positive for something called Hurthle cell thyroid cancer.
This is not the news I was expecting. This was not the news I wanted to hear first thing in the morning. It is very disheartening, I’m still in shock and learning to accept my new normal; it is still very surreal at the moment.
i'm still in processing-mode even though it's been a few days, however, that's normal for me because I've never been the best at processing big news.
I'm still experiencing pain in my neck when I talk and swallow (and sneeze and cough and laugh) however the bruising and swelling is gone for the most part which is FANTASTIC.
You know your bruising is bad when a stranger walks up to you in the store and asks you if "you're safe"...
God bless that woman.
But if that gives you some kind of idea of what I was dealing with, my neck was pretty gross looking.
---
This is not the news I was expecting. This was not the news I wanted to hear first thing in the morning. It is very disheartening, I’m still in shock and learning to accept my new normal; it is still very surreal at the moment.
i'm still in processing-mode even though it's been a few days, however, that's normal for me because I've never been the best at processing big news.
I'm still experiencing pain in my neck when I talk and swallow (and sneeze and cough and laugh) however the bruising and swelling is gone for the most part which is FANTASTIC.
You know your bruising is bad when a stranger walks up to you in the store and asks you if "you're safe"...
God bless that woman.
But if that gives you some kind of idea of what I was dealing with, my neck was pretty gross looking.
---
Fast forward to today, I'm meeting with an endocrinologist which honestly means nothing to me right now because I'm not exactly sure what to expect.
Like I said, this is all very new to me, and I'm still educating myself on the situation.
However, I'm looking forward to asking my questions (all 103 of them) and getting some answers.
I do believe we'll be discussing treatment plans today, as well as discussing surgery.
It's my understanding that I'll be needing some form of radiation before surgery, then after surgery I may need some chemotherapy.
That's literally all I know...that's it.
So fingers crossed this appointment goes well and that I leave with a better understanding of what's going on with my body.
Like I said, this is all very new to me, and I'm still educating myself on the situation.
However, I'm looking forward to asking my questions (all 103 of them) and getting some answers.
I do believe we'll be discussing treatment plans today, as well as discussing surgery.
It's my understanding that I'll be needing some form of radiation before surgery, then after surgery I may need some chemotherapy.
That's literally all I know...that's it.
So fingers crossed this appointment goes well and that I leave with a better understanding of what's going on with my body.
---
If i could say anything to anyone right now, it would be to just be kind to everyone.
This world is a scary place right now and you never know what someone's dealing with in their personal life.
We all have something going on behind the scenes.
Be nice to one another.
This world is a scary place right now and you never know what someone's dealing with in their personal life.
We all have something going on behind the scenes.
Be nice to one another.
If you were to look at me right now, I don't "look sick" but trust me, I feel awful.
i have felt this way for over a year, of just feeling worn down, exhaustion, bodyaches, etc.
My favorite thing to do right now is sleep...I am ALWAYS tired.
So for my friends reading this, please just know, if you want to see me/make plans with me and I turn them down, it's not because I don't want to see you, it's because my body needs/wants the rest.
Plus, as mentioned above, I'm still learning to process my new normal.
It's a lot to hear that you have some form of cancer.
i have felt this way for over a year, of just feeling worn down, exhaustion, bodyaches, etc.
My favorite thing to do right now is sleep...I am ALWAYS tired.
So for my friends reading this, please just know, if you want to see me/make plans with me and I turn them down, it's not because I don't want to see you, it's because my body needs/wants the rest.
Plus, as mentioned above, I'm still learning to process my new normal.
It's a lot to hear that you have some form of cancer.
---
Thank you in advance for respecting my wishes of wanting to literally sleep all the time...
But no, seriously, thank you to those of you who have heard this news prior to this blog post and who have reached out and given their support.
It means more to me than you know.
And to those of you finding out through this blog, just know that I'm doing okay.
One day at a time.
I will continue to post updates on here, as well as continue to write about other things in-between.
in the meantime, I'm going to go kick cancer's ass.
It means more to me than you know.
And to those of you finding out through this blog, just know that I'm doing okay.
One day at a time.
I will continue to post updates on here, as well as continue to write about other things in-between.
in the meantime, I'm going to go kick cancer's ass.
xx
Kick cancers ass, and keep your head high! Well, as high as you can ��
ReplyDeleteFrom the day I met you, you've been a very strong, intelligent girl. I don't have a doubt in my mind that you can make it through this.
I know we don't talk much at all, nor have we in general for the past several years. But just know that I am ALWAYS here for you, I will listen, and I will help if I can.
Keep up the blogging. And i hope we get to visit you some time soon.